I was so blessed by the teaching on the topic of Father God's Heart. One thing that really stood out to me was the topic of fear. Marty talked about it on Wednesday, but what's crazy about it is that God spoke to me on Tuesday, a crazy revelation I felt about fear. I was generally doing extremely well up until Tuesday night until a crippling sense of fear of loneliness kicked in. I realize that because this has been a recurring thing in my life, this insecurity allowed me to develop a defense mechanism to want to possess and possess to cover the sense of emptiness in my life. Because I wanted to possess relationships for myself, I declared independence from God in this area. I told Him that I would give him my all before, reciting 1 Corinthians 10:31, but it just wasn't true in that area of my life. It was not the overflowing love for Jesus Christ that was the root of my actions, I found that it was actually this fear of loneliness and fear of man that was governing a lot of my thoughts and actions. The verse said to do it all for the glory of God, but in reality, I was living my life for the glory of ... my self desires and wherever this fear of man/emptiness took me.
In my outreach group, I repented my fear of loneliness and fear of man. For idolizing security, family, friends and reputation as a result of fear. As I was taught from the lecture, when we walk in the light by confessing to each other in accountability (James 5:8), we will overcome the old self.
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